Here's one of our famous #BitterSweet field trips. The point of the field trip is to make another channel experience some amount of chaos, confusion, or revolution all for our own amusement. This is a case where we went off to #3waysex to cause a touch of confusion. What we discovered, however, is that it is very easy to confuse the already confused.

You know that guy from school who was just too stupid to realize when something was a joke? No matter how many times you told the joke, they still didn't get it? Well here's what happens when someone like that gets ops in a channel...

Sometimes it takes a little work to get the ops attention in a channel, some cattle take more prodding than others...

Session Start: Tue Oct 13 00:44:32 1998

*** Now talking in #3waysex
*** Sn0wGurl (maverick@cr214669-a.lndn1.on.wave.home.com) has joined #3waysex
<CrakGnius> I came in here to get some questions answered
<Sn0wGurl> like what?
<CrakGnius> okay
<CrakGnius> what are they?
<CrakGnius> that's my question...
<CrakGnius> what are they?
<CrakGnius> the 3 ways... to... you know... have sex.. what are they?
<CrakGnius> because I'm new at this
<Sn0wGurl> man, I was going to ask you that
<CrakGnius> I mean I realize I need to be hard
<CrakGnius> and... as you can see... I am
<Sn0wGurl> the trick is how to make it hard I think
<CrakGnius> but... I didn't know there were only 3 ways
<CrakGnius> hmmm
<CrakGnius> maybe that's why they don't talk much in here
<CrakGnius> once you've explained the 3 ways once... it must get boring to do it OVER and OVER
<CrakGnius> you get the feeling they just don't care?
<Sn0wGurl> yeah
<Sn0wGurl> I think that is the case
<Sn0wGurl> or maybe they are trying to figure out the 3 ways
<CrakGnius> like a discussion group to FIND the 3 ways
<Sn0wGurl> maybe there are really 4!
<CrakGnius> ohhhh that could be
<Sn0wGurl> and this is all BS!
<Sn0wGurl> I wonder if there are any newsgroups
<Sn0wGurl> I think one way is on top somehow
<Sn0wGurl> but I could be wrong
<CrakGnius> on top of what?
<chili`> hmmmm-no, 3ways are real

<CrakGnius> Aha!
<CrakGnius> so what are the 3 ways?
<chili`> ummm-sex with 3 people together at the same time
<CrakGnius> okay... so that's considered 1 way?

...I've said it before and I'll say it again, be wary of people who play dumb online. How dumb can they really be, they know how to start up and operate a computer? So I play dumb. Sue me...

<chili`> nooooo-a 3way is a threesome
<Sn0wGurl> what do you mean?
<Sn0wGurl> i'm lost
* CrakGnius ponders
<Sn0wGurl> I don't even know how to do it with one!!!
<CrakGnius> wait wait.. let me get this straight... a threesome is also known as a 3way??
<chili`> OK-a 3way is sex with three people together at the same time
<CrakGnius> and that's one of the 3 ways right?
<CrakGnius> how confusing that one of the 3 ways is called a 3 way
<chili`> no...not talking about 3 different ways
<Sn0wGurl> there isn't more than one way?
<Sn0wGurl> what fun is that?
<chili`> 2 guys, 1 girl......2 girls, 1guy.....3 guys..3 gurls......
<chili`> this could be called #3somesex just as easily
<chili`> and there is ALOT more than 1 way
<Sn0wGurl> so what goes where?
<CrakGnius> wait... okay... 2M 1F, 2F 1M, 3M, 3F... well that appears to be 4 ways right there
<Sn0wGurl> so much math!
<chili`> |SiGh|
<Sn0wGurl> I would get confused
<chili`> that was all just examples of a threeway
<Sn0wGurl> 1x plus 3some x 2way = something
<CrakGnius> see and I'm not very good at math
<Sn0wGurl> I need a tutor!
<Sn0wGurl> help!
<CrakGnius> Darnit... I broke my calculator
*** Cartmang (jauaa@ip-20-173.phx.primenet.com) has joined #3waysex

...here's where the reinforcements come in...

* chili` is away> sleeeepin > (rec> ON) type > /ctcp chili` Page
<Cartmang> hello all
<CrakGnius> hey Cartmang
<Sn0wGurl> hi Cartmang
<CrakGnius> do you know the 3 ways... even the ops appear to be confused
<Cartmang> regular oral and anal?
<Cartmang> boy on top
<CrakGnius> Wait
<Cartmang> girl on top
<CrakGnius> you're right
<CrakGnius> regular oral and anal
<Cartmang> anddoggy style?
<CrakGnius> that's all there is
<CrakGnius> that's the three ways
<Sn0wGurl> how do you do it?
<chili`> OK-one last time, then I'm outtie...this channel is NOT about 3 different ways to have sex...it is about sex with more than one partner at a time

...even after claiming to be gone, he simply can't walk away from this. It must be that same instinct that makes you crane your neck at a car wreck...

<CrakGnius> no no forget the doggy style... you've finally simplified it to the true 3ways
<Sn0wGurl> there is far too much math
<Sn0wGurl> 1x plus 3some x 2way = something
<Sn0wGurl> I need a tutor!
<Sn0wGurl> I need a tutor!
<CrakGnius> damn
<Cartmang> a tutor?
<CrakGnius> now chili confused me again
<Cartmang> do i get paid?
<Sn0wGurl> yeah
<CrakGnius> and I had achieved such clarity
<CrakGnius> don't you need another person Sn0w... chili said sumthin there about needing three people to do all three ways
<chili`> there are literally hundereds of ways, but that's not the main focus of this channel
<Cartmang> theres one male
<Cartmang> one female
<Sn0wGurl> can there be 101 ways?
<Cartmang> which leaves only 3 ways for them to do it
<Sn0wGurl> or just 100's
<CrakGnius> I'm counting 10 ways... but I haven't taken my shoes off yet... hang on

...you know, there seems to always be a point in the act of playing dumb that I cross over to playing retarded...

<Cartmang> im up to 21
<Cartmang> im naked but i cant count any higher
<Cartmang> alone at least
<CrakGnius> I am having the same problem
<Cartmang> with other people
<Cartmang> you can count them too
<Sn0wGurl> it's getting clearer now that I took my shoes off
<CrakGnius> I'm up to 23 though (extra toes)
<Sn0wGurl> luckY!!!!!!!!!!
<Cartmang> i used my blow up sheep and got to 37
<CrakGnius> I know
<Cartmang> can you run faster?
<CrakGnius> never would have passed Freshman Algebra without them
<CrakGnius> I don't really know Cartmang... I suppose by cutting off the extras and running I could see if I ran slower then
<CrakGnius> faster than what?
<Sn0wGurl> maybe I need to take more math classes to figure out this 3way stuff
<Cartmang> i know 3!=6
<CrakGnius> Ohhhhh
<CrakGnius> I gotcha
<Sn0wGurl> that's if you have two groups of three?
<Cartmang> yeah
<CrakGnius> so a really good 3way would be a 3! and therefore require 6 people... am I right?
<Sn0wGurl> or one group of three doing it two different ways?

...at this point the once gullible op has been finally run off, so we need some fresh meat to tear into, soon our new prey arrives. That's the beauty of invading sex channels, there seems to be an endless supply of stupid people entering them...

*** GreyWolf2 (greywolf1@191.seattle-06-07rs.wa.dial-access.att.net) has joined #3waysex
<Sn0wGurl> hey greywolf
<GreyWolf2> Hi Snow
<CrakGnius> Wait I bet Graywolf knows them
<Cartmang> werd gw2
<GreyWolf2> knows who
<GreyWolf2> ??
<CrakGnius> hey gw... what are the 3 ways?
<Cartmang> what are the 3 ways of sex?
<GreyWolf2> 1... doggie style
<CrakGnius> 2... Wolfie style?
<GreyWolf2> Ok, whats the third?
<Cartmang> be careful
<Cartmang> your AOL hours may be running high
<GreyWolf2> Where is everyone from... Seattle Wa. here
<CrakGnius> ohhhhh right
<Cartmang> my dads penis
<Cartmang> the first way i think
<Sn0wGurl> toronto area
<CrakGnius> The desert of Arizona
<Cartmang> AZ also
<CrakGnius> which leads me to wonder where in the heck I'm supposed to find ONE other person let alone 2... sigh
<CrakGnius> is a cactus a valid sex partner?
<Cartmang> lets ask the experts
<Cartmang> if self, left hand, and right hand counts as 3
* chili` is away> sleeeepin > Try paging me> Type /ctcp chili` Page
*** GreyWolf2 (greywolf1@191.seattle-06-07rs.wa.dial-access.att.net) has left #3waysex

...another dick bites the dust...

<Cartmang> my pager is a phone #
<CrakGnius> Maybe we should page chili for help
<Cartmang> i still dont get it
<Sn0wGurl> chili?
<CrakGnius> I'm ever so confused
<Sn0wGurl> are you a spicy meatball?
<Cartmang> page him
<CrakGnius> I think he's trying to pretend to be asleep so we don't further confuse him
<Sn0wGurl> -> [chili`] PAGE are you a spicy meatball?
<Sn0wGurl> -chili`- This is to acknowledge your page...
<Sn0wGurl> maybe
<CrakGnius> he tried to look like an expert but his theories were just so shaky
*** NiceGuy (kdmogel@dialupA148.bois.uswest.net) has joined #3waysex
<CrakGnius> Ohhh good.... a nice guy... I'll bet he knows
<NiceGuy> Of course I will know!
<NiceGuy> What?

...I think he probably uses this nick so he can hear "what's a nice guy like you doing in a seedy channel like this" a dozen times a night. There are two things I'm fairly certain of: nice guys 1) don't finish first and 2) don't hang out in places called #3waysex...

<CrakGnius> What are they?
<CrakGnius> the 3 ways of having sex I mean
<NiceGuy> The three ways of having sex.....hmmmmm
<NiceGuy> let me think about that one....
<Sn0wGurl> I'm learning
<CrakGnius> see... this is the question that has stumped the masses tonight
<NiceGuy> huh
<NiceGuy> Standing, sitting, and laying?
<CrakGnius> ahhhhh
<CrakGnius> what about floating though... like zero Gravity or something... what would that count as?
<NiceGuy> It would depend if you were floating in the horizontal, fetal, or prone position.
<NiceGuy> Again...you have all three positions covered
<CrakGnius> I seeeee
<NiceGuy> Am I even close? hehe
<CrakGnius> so the positions really are fetal, vertical, or horizontal
<Cartmang> i know!
<CrakGnius> ya maybe.. I think you may be on to something there
<Cartmang> length
<Cartmang> width and depth!
<CrakGnius> oh damn
<Cartmang> those are the 3 ways!
<CrakGnius> now I am confused again
<NiceGuy> Length, width, and depth is the motion and the quality of the ac....not the positons themselves.
<Cartmang> 3ways! not being = 3ways x 2ways x 1way
<Sn0wGurl> here we go with math again
<Cartmang> 3 ways
<Cartmang> straight
<Cartmang> left
<Cartmang> right
<CrakGnius> see I was fine until the op started talking about groups of people... then I lost it
<Sn0wGurl> side to side too right?
<NiceGuy> Straight left and right are not different straight can be left or right...therefore that is only 2 and cannot be the correct answer.
<Cartmang> but there is only 3 ways
<CrakGnius> damnit you are all confusing me again
<CrakGnius> can we go back to the Male, Female, animal one again
<Cartmang> you are the suppossed genius
<CrakGnius> ya but this is like a philosophical debate dammit
<Sn0wGurl> so if there are 11 of us here on the channel...2 people would have to have a twosome right?
<Sn0wGurl> cause 3 only goes into 11 3 times
<NiceGuy> or one could have a onesome.
<Sn0wGurl> and there are 2 people left out
<CrakGnius> what are the THREE WAYS? If there are only 3 ways as this channel's name suggests... then what are they?
<CrakGnius> Ooooooo I'll have a onesome.... but in three different ways
<CrakGnius> that'll make up for it right?
<Sn0wGurl> don't complicate things crak
<Sn0wGurl> you only have two arms
<CrakGnius> Ahhhh but I have things around the house I can use... like a Q-tip, a popcicle, a blender...

...that was a reference to the Sn0wGurl log also available on my page, it's even funnier than this one!...

<Cartmang> are you ones of those guys
<Cartmang> who can oral sex himself?
<CrakGnius> yes I am
<CrakGnius> and I never leave the house
<Sn0wGurl> you could pull a muscle!
<CrakGnius> hopefully yes sn0w... that's the idea
<Cartmang> now you and my dog have some things in common!
<CrakGnius> well on that note I guess I'll head off to bed and suck myself off
<CrakGnius> gnight all!

Session Close: Tue Oct 13 01: 38: 56 1998

...theres just a special joy I feel in my heart after interrupting a sex channel's normal operation (or abnormal operation if you so prefer). It just warms my heart. Ahhhhhhh glee.